Unrealistic Expectations

Ps Kathy Strong - North End Church, Te Awamutu

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Expectations.
The dictionary defines it as a strong belief that something will happen. 

We all have them right?

We expect our food to be ready in 2 minutes when we go through the drive through.
We expect that the kids will tidy their rooms.
We expect our husbands to love and cherish us.
We expect good things to happen. 

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And what do we do with these expectations? We place them on people. The girl at the drive through, the people at Church, our friends, our loved ones, and above all….we place these expectations on ourselves. Now expectations are not all bad. They help us to achieve goals and gives us something to aim for. But the expectations we place on ourselves, these expectations are no ordinary expectations, no Ladies, these ones are unrealistic! Totally unrealistic! 

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My house should always be tidy.
My kids should always look and act perfectly.
I need to serve in every area of Church.
I have to say yes to everything I am asked to do.
My life has to be picture perfect otherwise I am not a good Christian.
I can’t let people see that I am struggling. 

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I mean, really? We would never expect these things of our close friends, so why do we expect them of ourselves?
Why as women, have we placed such high expectations on ourselves?
Why do we think we need to be perfect before people will love and accept us? 

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I think one of the biggest reasons we place these unrealistic expectations on ourselves is because of comparison. I need to dress like her, I need to act like her, if only my life was more like hers, my house was as tidy as hers, my cooking as delicious as hers. If only I could speak like her, pray like her, be like her….. 

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And we beat ourselves up. We set ourselves completely unrealistic expectations that we will never attain. But we strive, and we work and we push and we covet.

Till one day God says “Enough Daughter! Don’t you know I love you for you. I never wanted you to be like her (whoever she is, because if we are completely honest, we all have a “her”!) I love you unconditionally and completely. Lose these unrealistic expectations you have of yourself and rest in me, knowing that you are enough just as you are!” 

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And so then we breathe. We take a deep breath in and we sigh out all those expectations, and we breathe in God’s goodness, His acceptance, and His unconditional love. And we open His word and we read the beautiful love letter He has written to each one of us: 

You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14)
For I know the plans I have for you (jer 29:11)
God loves you and has chosen you (1Thes 1:4)
Since God chose you to be the Holy people, He loves you (Col 3:12) 

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And there is verse after verse about His unconditional love for us, and soon those expectations, those unrealistic expectations we place on ourselves will fall away, as we replace the lies of the enemy with Gods truth.

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So lets be kind to ourself. It’s ok not to be perfect or to think that we need to create the illusion that we are. It’s ok to have messy lounges and kids whose socks don’t match. It’s ok to say no to something when we are already juggling a million things. It’s ok to be who God has called us to be, knowing that we are not perfect, and God never expects us to be!

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Click on image to read
Chapter Six from Hope's Story "Expectations."
Written by Rachael Lock