Can you be fully calm and still without feeling guilty?

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Rebekah Moa - Equippers Church Gisborne

Absolutely.

I love that Jesus only did what He saw His Father doing. 
He didn’t touch everyone. He didn’t heal everyone. Yet, He did all He was called to do.

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I can’t touch everyone. I can’t reach everyone. I can however be faithful to what God has called me to do.

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My husband is in full time ministry. We have five children. For many years we were encouraged at the

beginning of the year to “seek God as to His will for you this year.” Each year, for many years, all I

heard was “be faithful as a wife and mother.” Now of course I did other things: I served on the Kids

Team at church; I ran a home group; I attended meetings. However, my priority was (and remains) my

children and husband.

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Our Pastor once said that “the best thing you can offer the world is a healthy you.” I took that seriously and realised that in order to be “healthy” there were some things I needed to put in place for me.

I’ll share what I have come to see as some essentials for me:

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1. Time alone with God
There came a point where two to three quiet times a week, (whenever I could squeeze it in), wasn’t cutting it for me. I wanted more of God. I committed (in spite of loving sleep almost more than life) to getting up 10 minutes early to spend time reading the Word and journaling. Ten minutes steadily grew to 15...20...30 minutes as I began to appreciate how valuable and special that time alone in the morning with God is. Journaling has been a huge blessing to me. I use it as a way to communicate with God. I work through the good the bad and downright hard. It has been very healing. This is a space I can be calm and still. The children are still sleeping peacefully. It’s just me, my Father in Heaven and the birds chirping outside.

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2. Time to exercise
This may only happen 2-4 times per week, but I do it. I used to do it with 1-2 kids in the pram. Now I do it while they are all at school. Sometimes I walk with someone and we talk. Other times I walk with God and we talk. Again, it’s very therapeutic; the fresh air; the conversation.

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3. Time to prepare healthy meals for my family
This has become important to me over the years. We love to eat around the family table. Eating healthily takes time, so I have to take the time. I never just chop vegetables though. I’m either singing to God or praying or listening to a message while I chop. I love being able to sit around the table at the end of the day with good food on our plates (whether they actually enjoy it is another thing). It’s very satisfying.

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4. Time to spend with people who love me and “fill me up emotionally.”
I have come to truly appreciate the friends and family I have that love and encourage me. Not everyone is that for me. There are many people I care about, help, catch up with, pray for and support. It’s not necessarily reciprocated. And it doesn’t need to be. God’s called me to love and serve them. He’s placed certain people in my life who love and care and pray for me. Spending time with these people, either over the phone or in person, is an important part of being emotionally healthy.

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5. Time to rest
God commanded rest. There’s no need to attach guilt to it. I endeavor to do no work on Sundays. Sundays is the day we worship, we fellowship, we rest. There’s a certain amount of “work” involved in worshiping on Sundays (especially if you are serving on a team at church); there’s also a certain amount of work involved in fellow-shipping with others (especially if you are the ones hosting the get-together), but I have come to see that this is what Sunday is for. We are to “stop what we usually do” and set Sunday aside to serve and worship God.

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I have more energy in the morning; I am a nicer person in the morning. I’ve come to recognise that. In the morning I’ll have my devotions, have devotions with the children, help get the children to school, clean up, go for a walk, prepare for Kids Church, pay the bills, prepare dinner, catch up with someone over coffee... My day will be choca. By 6pm I’m exhausted. So, I stop. I don’t feel guilty. I rarely do work of any kind (church work, cleaning etc) in the evenings. Often the dishes aren’t even done until the next day. Why? Because I’m lazy? No! Because I’m tired and I need to rest.

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I listen to my body. If I’m feeling achy, I’ll slow down. Cancel some appointments. Take time to rest during the day. Am I lazy? No! Do I feel guilty? No! I recognise that sometimes I want to do more than what my body and heart can handle.

Taking time to rest is wonderful. When I open a book or my journal I find that God is wanting to draw me closer. I can be racing around “serving Him” (because all we do we “do unto the Lord”) but at times He wants to be alone with us. He wants us to be still. He wants to whisper in our ear. I relish those moments.

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The best thing you can offer the world is a healthy you. Being healthy involves rest. Do yourself, your family and everyone around you a favour…. Spend time alone with God. Exercise. Eat well. Spend time with people who love you and always remember to rest when you need it.

Rebekah is a full-time mum to five children. She has been married 14 years and is passionately committed to seeing marriages thrive. Rebekah loves her God, her family and her church. She devotes her time to serving them. Relationships are Rebekah's priority. Seeing relationships healed and whole is what drives her. She sees God as a God of reconciliation and hopes that her life is used by God to bring hope and reconciliation to those around her.